Insomnia has taken me the past few days. Excitement, perhaps? And of course, my little Cindy baby is no help - walking around on my chest and gently slapping at my face with just enough claw that she doesn't scratch, but I can't ignore it. Attention whore! But alas, no kitties will be turned down affection in this home. Anyway, I bring that up so you'll forgive me if I'm a rambling mess :) I don't normally post about my days, but the start of this semester seems somehow worthy.
Monday I left a little early for class to get a new stick of deodorant (I *would* run out during one of the hottest summers in Texas history). I also decided to treat myself to a delicious, cold bottle of
Kombucha. Beth got me addicted to Kombucha, which is great since it's a source of vegan probiotics! It looks a little funky (some of the bacteria cultures like to clump up in the bottom) and smells a bit like feet, but I promise it tastes great! Hmm, that's my second tangent in two paragraphs...
Anywho! After my stop, I headed to Statistics. The professor was a kind-looking, smiley man, though he made me a little uncomfortable by making way too much eye contact with me. That's what I get for being one of the ones paying attention! The class was a bit dull (Statistics terms definition day, wahoo!), but I'm sure I'll be a lot more interested once we start working actual problems.
Tuesdays and Thursdays are much fuller days. Tuesday started off well - I got up, did a little yoga, had some coconut water (NOM NOM), and did the usual, boring get ready for class junk. First "oh crap" moment of the day: "hmm, no one else is here for my class..." That's because it starts at 11:30, not 11, smartypants. Go me! I decided to use the extra time to explore the campus a bit (I usually take classes at Collin's Spring Creek campus, but Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday I'm at the less-familiar-to-me-and-further-away Preston Ridge campus this semester).
Philosophy seems like it will be fun. The professor was witty and enthusiastic, which is always great. He chose very modern philosophical material - mostly how people today are so greatly affected by inanimate objects, such as smartphones. At first I was a little upset about this (I love learning things with historical context), but I can see how most young college kids probably find it more relatable. All-in-all, most likely a good choice on his part.
Next, I headed to Anatomy and Physiology I. Philosophy got out a bit early, so I had a few relaxing moments to read first! Let me start off by saying I had VERY high hopes for this class. I think I'm even more excited to learn anatomy and physiology than jewelry-making (and that's saying a lot!). A few minutes in, however, my worst fear was realized... 18% of my lecture grade comes from a GROUP PROJECT. OH THE HORROR!!! Another 10% comes from a community service learning project. That part worried me at first, since I had no idea where I'd do my service. However, once she told us there's a list of organizations on the Collin website, I realized it will be a great thing. Perhaps even get me started volunteering somewhere permanently! But back to the group project... My mind COMPLETELY freaked. Dark thoughts started running through my head: "I can't do this," "Why am I here?" "I have to drop," "Why did I think I could be a nurse?" etc. It took me a few more hours to get through the shock.
A bit disheartened, I drove to the nearby mall to try to find a suitable lunch. Luckily, I recently read that Starbucks now offers a vegan-friendly bistro meal, so I grabbed one of those. Turns out it was pretty delicious. An Asian-inspired sesame and veggie pasta with sesame-covered peanuts and a little square of dark chocolate. I'll have to start figuring out my own food to bring, though. I don't feel too comfortable eating something that comes in a plastic box, two small plastic containers, and two plastic wrappers. Wasteful!
Back at the campus, I found my A&P Lab room. I have never liked lab classes. Mostly for the same reason group projects scare the living shit out of me - I'm too shy and I always end up having to explain everything to my partner/s. Still, I did so well in my Biology lab last Spring, how bad could it be? I'll tell you how bad. We have to dissect. Ugh. But wait, it gets worse! What are we dissecting? Cats. CATS!? As soon as I heard that, I teared up for about 30 minutes. Again I thought about dropping or skipping those days, but I take my grades too seriously now that I want to be a nurse. I tried to comfort myself by assuming the cats were already euthanized, then donated to the college for learning. But still, when I look down at that cat I'll think of my own. All the sweet little kisses they give me, their purrs, their rubs against me... What could have been for the cat in front of me given a chance? I decided I must tough my way through it, but I guarantee I'll be the weirdo crying as we dissect cats. I'll also e-mail my professor ahead of time to warn him how uncomfortable I'll be.
I feel a lot better now. A little time has helped my mind re-center. First off, I like to always keep in mind how very blessed I am to have the opportunity to go to college. Being thankful helps get me through the classes I don't like as well. Also, this all leads somewhere - a GOOD somewhere at that. One day I'll be sharing my love and compassion with patients in a hospital. The group project will help me get used to being around and opening up to people I don't know. One of my two worst fears going into nursing is that I will be too shy to relate to the patients or let them know I care. (The other... I'm afraid of needles). Hopefully the lab will help me learn to do uncomfortable things, including forcing me to work with a stranger. At least my lab partner seems sweet.
A little more personal than my usual posts. I hope it's not boring! Have a great day!
